Music Lessons - Weighing It Out

Kids today need to be kept busy and involved. Parents often make the mistake of trying to force a hobby or extracurricular activity on their child, that somehow conforms to the parents definition of success. This approach generally leads to frustration and irritation and parents end up paying for materials and lessons that end up going to waste.

We learned this the hard way. When our son was four, we enrolled him in an academy of music to learn to play the piano. The teacher was very impressed with his ability at such a young age. However, practicing between music lessons, became a standing issue that we all began to dread. We stuck with the lessons, since they had already been paid for. My husband was determined that our son would learn the importance of commitment and the value of hard work. Of course, in the end, our son won that battle. When it was time for him to perform at his first recital he flat out refused to go on stage. And that was the end of that!

We talked to others, as the years passed and we discovered one approach that many parents have found meets with success. They suggested allowing the child to choose an activity from within a broader topic. So, we again approached our eight year old son and offered him his choice of music lessons. His first choice was to learn to play the drums. As a test to determine his true level of interest and commitment, we borrowed a set of drum pads from a friend, who also went through the drum lesson phase. I suppose the prospects of making an awful racket was a large part of the appeal and this was somewhat lost with the drum pads being a tamer version of the real thing. So, as expected our son quickly lost interest.

A month or two later, the topic of music lessons came up again. My husband discovered that a local DJ was offering Saturday morning training in our community free of charge! It turned out that this particular DJ is extremely talented and placed sixth in the recent World Championships. When our son caught wind of this opportunity he was very excited and began taking lessons immediately. Within a matter of weeks his natural talent began to emerge. DJ Brace was astounded and adopted our son as his little protege. It quickly became apparent that taking lessons once a week wasn't going to be enough to satiate our son's aptitude and interest. DJ Brace agreed to help our son select a starter system at a reduced rate from a local music store, and before we knew it, our living room was equipped with some pretty fancy turntables so that our son could scratch away to his heart's content, between music lessons.

We were delighted by his talent, but we started having a few misgivings. Our son was obviously a natural and if he continued in this hobby, we realized that down the road, this would progress to his performing in bars and nightclubs throughout the city. This was a little more than we had bargained for, and we sat down to have some serious talks with our son about the music lessons and his expectations for the future.

By the end of the summer, we found out that we had worried for naught. Our son started missing his lessons, stopped practicing and moved on to activities that an eight year old views as bigger and better things.

It's a hard lesson for parents to learn, but the best advice is for parents to just go with the flow. Allow children to pursue their interests within reason, but never put all your eggs in one basket. Meaning: don't invest money that you don't have or push your child too hard in a direction that has value in your mind, but doesn't really appeal to your child. Kids are growing and changing everyday. It's normal for them to want to try their hand at new things along the way. You never know. One of these days, something just might stick. But, in the meantime, don't take yourself or your child too seriously, when it comes to hobbies, music lessons or the like. This approach will help you avoid many headaches along the way, and allow you to enjoy watching your kids develop their interests and talents as they grow.

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